Friday, July 15, 2016

Hanging up my mic - Connecting my heart and head

I have been considering taking a break from teaching at the YMCA for a while.  I have been debating this in my head for quite some time.

I love my members
When I am up there, I love teaching.
I love motivating people.
I love when people come up to me after class and say this was a tough workout or that they are progressing to new levels.
It is a community. It is social. I started as a member and now I have a group of people I enjoy seeing all the time.

Time - My time is being stretched way too thin.
Kids - their schedule is killing us. With Alexis excelling at 2 sports and Joaquin also wanting to play 2 sports, we are constantly on the go.
Prep for class - It takes a while and I don't put the effort in to it that I should, which is a disservice to my class.
My fitness...

My fitness is suffering. I have no time for my personal fitness and it is starting to depress me. I am not in the physical shape that I want to be in and the more the time passes and slips away from me, the more I get depressed. It is hard to be in front of a class and not be in model shape. It is not good and I think I do my members a disservice. This is important to me and I have goals. When I don't reach my goals, I get upset and I am not too pleasant.

Two weeks ago I went in to the Wellness Center Manager's office and told her after July 11th, I would come off the schedule. I am going to be around to sub for classes here and there but I could not commit to a regular schedule. My manager was sad. I was too. She wants to revisit in 6 months but I think I know the answer. I won't be coming back. I have stayed late at work this week and extra hour at work has made some significant progress for me in several situations.

I am going to miss it. I already do. But I don't miss it enough to go back. This was about connecting my head and my heart. That took a while. My head knew the right decision. My heart was nostalgic and staying for old reasons. As my family and career changes, I have to adjust priorities. This is on a small scale but it is also about finding joy. I had to ask myself that tough I still finding JOY in teaching? There used to be a lot of joy. The joy has faded. It is a distraction to other things that are more important.

JOY. One of my mentors brought that up to me and I knew that answer right away. I know I made the right decisions. My members are sad and disappointed but I am still around via social media and as a member to give them the motivation they need. The last 10 days have been really good for me. I am so much more focused and happy. I have been able to do 2 HIIT workouts for myself this week and I feel great. That is a tough one. I forgot about my happiness. I do that a lot. What I didn't realize is that the lack of JOY in my life was flowing in to other areas. It was spreading like a virus. Ten days and I can already tell the difference.

Find the JOY in what you do.