I have been considering taking a break from teaching at the YMCA for a while. I have been debating this in my head for quite some time.
PROS -
I love my members
When I am up there, I love teaching.
I love motivating people.
I love when people come up to me after class and say this was a tough workout or that they are progressing to new levels.
It is a community. It is social. I started as a member and now I have a group of people I enjoy seeing all the time.
CONS
Time - My time is being stretched way too thin.
Kids - their schedule is killing us. With Alexis excelling at 2 sports and Joaquin also wanting to play 2 sports, we are constantly on the go.
Prep for class - It takes a while and I don't put the effort in to it that I should, which is a disservice to my class.
My fitness...
My fitness is suffering. I have no time for my personal fitness and it is starting to depress me. I am not in the physical shape that I want to be in and the more the time passes and slips away from me, the more I get depressed. It is hard to be in front of a class and not be in model shape. It is not good and I think I do my members a disservice. This is important to me and I have goals. When I don't reach my goals, I get upset and I am not too pleasant.
Two weeks ago I went in to the Wellness Center Manager's office and told her after July 11th, I would come off the schedule. I am going to be around to sub for classes here and there but I could not commit to a regular schedule. My manager was sad. I was too. She wants to revisit in 6 months but I think I know the answer. I won't be coming back. I have stayed late at work this week and extra hour at work has made some significant progress for me in several situations.
I am going to miss it. I already do. But I don't miss it enough to go back. This was about connecting my head and my heart. That took a while. My head knew the right decision. My heart was nostalgic and staying for old reasons. As my family and career changes, I have to adjust priorities. This is on a small scale but it is also about finding joy. I had to ask myself that tough questions...am I still finding JOY in teaching? There used to be a lot of joy. The joy has faded. It is a distraction to other things that are more important.
JOY. One of my mentors brought that up to me and I knew that answer right away. I know I made the right decisions. My members are sad and disappointed but I am still around via social media and as a member to give them the motivation they need. The last 10 days have been really good for me. I am so much more focused and happy. I have been able to do 2 HIIT workouts for myself this week and I feel great. That is a tough one. I forgot about my happiness. I do that a lot. What I didn't realize is that the lack of JOY in my life was flowing in to other areas. It was spreading like a virus. Ten days and I can already tell the difference.
Find the JOY in what you do.
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Friday, July 15, 2016
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Extra Curricular Activities
I know the title of this post seems like I am talking about cheating, but I am not. I am talking about my kids and all the stuff they do outside of school.
I love that they are so active. I would not have it any other way. But it is killing me! I am stressed all the time about getting them to practice on time, especially my daughter.
I really hope, from her perspective, it does not seem like I am trying to live through her. I am not. I did all of this. I STILL do extra stuff outside of just work and family. The schedule is wearing me out a little. I am glad school basketball is over but now starts extra basketball to go along with club volleyball. In an effort to give her opportunities, I am pushing her and putting pressure on her. I have to. I see that in other successful people. She will regret it one day if I don't push her...if WE don't push her.
It has been a couple of days since I started this post and I am feeling better. Not stressed. This goes in waves. I am headed out of town today. I will miss her practice and training Thursday. My son had flag football practice and he did so well that they made him captain for his game. He loves it. I think she loves it too. She is having fun, which is the most important thing.
I need to keep telling myself they are young and having fun. The most important thing is that they are both getting better as time goes and working hard. Sometimes I get wrapped up in the attitudes of the other parents and I don't want that.
Speaking of parents, there are some shady parents at my kids' school. TA and I have decided to go around some of these people and do what's best for our kids. If that means we move schools, so be it. At the end of the day, I want them to value hard work, no matter what they do.
I love that they are so active. I would not have it any other way. But it is killing me! I am stressed all the time about getting them to practice on time, especially my daughter.
I really hope, from her perspective, it does not seem like I am trying to live through her. I am not. I did all of this. I STILL do extra stuff outside of just work and family. The schedule is wearing me out a little. I am glad school basketball is over but now starts extra basketball to go along with club volleyball. In an effort to give her opportunities, I am pushing her and putting pressure on her. I have to. I see that in other successful people. She will regret it one day if I don't push her...if WE don't push her.
It has been a couple of days since I started this post and I am feeling better. Not stressed. This goes in waves. I am headed out of town today. I will miss her practice and training Thursday. My son had flag football practice and he did so well that they made him captain for his game. He loves it. I think she loves it too. She is having fun, which is the most important thing.
I need to keep telling myself they are young and having fun. The most important thing is that they are both getting better as time goes and working hard. Sometimes I get wrapped up in the attitudes of the other parents and I don't want that.
Speaking of parents, there are some shady parents at my kids' school. TA and I have decided to go around some of these people and do what's best for our kids. If that means we move schools, so be it. At the end of the day, I want them to value hard work, no matter what they do.
Thursday, May 7, 2015
That mom in Baltimore that hit her kid
I'm sad about that whole situation. I am mad about what happened to Freddy. I am mad that these types of thing keep happening to the youth of the country. But now I am upset and scratching my head at all the people that are applauding this woman that, out of frustration, dragged her son from the protests and hit him over the head. I get where she was coming from. She was scared to death that she would not see her son again, with great reason. I know she was most likely thinking that she would rather embarrass him and beat him before the streets killed him. I get it. That was something that should have been done in private. That was their private moment to discuss and for her to let out her feelings to him. IN PRIVATE.
Several other things make me pause about the situation.
Most of the people applauding her are doing it for the wrong reasons. They are saying "Hey! She gets it! More of these parents need to be present in their kids' lives and discipline them to keep them off the streets!" Perhaps. What I saw was a private moment now exploited by most. I am not one for embarrassing my kids in public. I hated it when it happened to me. I won't do it to them. I was thinking about some of the times I was embarrassed in public and how today I completely disagree with the reasons my parents did it. Now, as a parent, I can see how easy it is to lose your cool and go off! I have felt fear turn to rage inside me when one of my kids did something dangerous or they were in danger. Controlling your emotions in that situation is very tough but you have to do it. You have to. I pray for patience and clarity all the time because I know there are times I feel lost as a mom. Feeling lost turns to anger or frustration. I can't let it control me. I try every day to do better than the last. For their sake, I have to do better. We've got to be better than that. We have to!
The first thing I thought when I saw the footage mentioned above was "Now America is seeing that the only way to control a young black man is with violence." This whole scene felt like justification for the actions of the police. The thought makes me sick to my stomach. SICK. I have a son. He is half black. He is half Mexican American. I would HATE the thought of someone thinking the only way to control him is with violence. Teaching someone that violence is wrong with violence doesn't make the point in the long run. It does strike fear. But once the fear subsides, the lesson is lost and the memory of violence remains. I worry about when he gets his first speeding tickets. I worry about his smart mouth and short temper. I worry that he won't be seen as an equal because of his ethnicity. That will most likely happen. I see it now and he is only in second grade. I worry about so many things for him. Things like the situation in Baltimore don't put my mind at ease.
I am not generalizing. I am not about the hate. I am one of the most positive people around. I am not obsessing about this. My wish and prayer is that all of us do better. Everyone wants change. I know I do. But do those same people WANT to change? I do. I want to do better and set that example for may family.
Several other things make me pause about the situation.
Most of the people applauding her are doing it for the wrong reasons. They are saying "Hey! She gets it! More of these parents need to be present in their kids' lives and discipline them to keep them off the streets!" Perhaps. What I saw was a private moment now exploited by most. I am not one for embarrassing my kids in public. I hated it when it happened to me. I won't do it to them. I was thinking about some of the times I was embarrassed in public and how today I completely disagree with the reasons my parents did it. Now, as a parent, I can see how easy it is to lose your cool and go off! I have felt fear turn to rage inside me when one of my kids did something dangerous or they were in danger. Controlling your emotions in that situation is very tough but you have to do it. You have to. I pray for patience and clarity all the time because I know there are times I feel lost as a mom. Feeling lost turns to anger or frustration. I can't let it control me. I try every day to do better than the last. For their sake, I have to do better. We've got to be better than that. We have to!
The first thing I thought when I saw the footage mentioned above was "Now America is seeing that the only way to control a young black man is with violence." This whole scene felt like justification for the actions of the police. The thought makes me sick to my stomach. SICK. I have a son. He is half black. He is half Mexican American. I would HATE the thought of someone thinking the only way to control him is with violence. Teaching someone that violence is wrong with violence doesn't make the point in the long run. It does strike fear. But once the fear subsides, the lesson is lost and the memory of violence remains. I worry about when he gets his first speeding tickets. I worry about his smart mouth and short temper. I worry that he won't be seen as an equal because of his ethnicity. That will most likely happen. I see it now and he is only in second grade. I worry about so many things for him. Things like the situation in Baltimore don't put my mind at ease.
I am not generalizing. I am not about the hate. I am one of the most positive people around. I am not obsessing about this. My wish and prayer is that all of us do better. Everyone wants change. I know I do. But do those same people WANT to change? I do. I want to do better and set that example for may family.
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Joaquin’s First Communion
Here are some photos of our fantastic day... the day Joaquin received his first communion.
Funny stories of how we got his outfit to come. For now, here are some of my faves.
Funny stories of how we got his outfit to come. For now, here are some of my faves.
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| Right before mass |
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| J and my aunt Rachel, his Godmother |
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| Lex got to alter serve that day |
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| Anna Clair Gaal and Trent Joaquin Andrews - our dear friends’ youngest daughter |
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| J and his Godfather Travis, TA’s brother |
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| Notice his face after tasting the wine. :) |
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| After mass with Fr Victor. Lex and I wore blue, J’s fave color. |
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| Our friends The Gaals and their two youngest girls |
Sunday, March 22, 2015
THE TALK
I decided last week that I was going to have “the talk” with my daughter this week about her *gulp* period. I also decided I was going to break this up. I will talk about the science and medical terminology of her cycle. She is not ready for the emotional side of it. She has no interest in boys just yet. No need to rush the “this is how you get pregnant” speech. She’s 11. She’s a young 11 that still likes to snuggle with us every night and mostly just wants to play with her brother. Not ready for that. At least I don’t think she is.
It went well. It was fast. I showed her a video I found online and I paused it to discuss different things about it I thought the video skimmed over too quickly. I told her this was just the start of our talks. She may not have a bunch of questions for me tonight but she can ask me questions any time about this. I will need to work up the script for the boys talk. I was given a slight glimpse of this a few days ago.
We went to Lost Pines in Bastrop this week for Spring Break. The weather wasn’t that great but it we still had fun. The girl said some boy was talking to her in the lazy river. She told us at dinner. After the story was over she said “it’s obvious he liked me.” I had to tell her that just because a boy pays you some attention, it doesn’t mean he “likes” you. It can, but mostly it doesn’t. I saw her face drop for a second, then a light bulb came on in her head as if maybe her mommy was making sense. TA didn’t like this story. He wanted to know what he looked like so he could eyeball him. HA!
I am just glad that the talk went so well. She asked me a lot of questions. Mostly logistical questions. It wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be in my head. My talk lasted a long time and came with a very weird brochure. HA! My mom is a nurse. The big questions from her was how to track your period so you don’t get surprised at school. I will have the sex talk later. I am sure most people won’t agree with my approach. That’s ok. I know my kid. She will handle this better in chapters.
It went well. It was fast. I showed her a video I found online and I paused it to discuss different things about it I thought the video skimmed over too quickly. I told her this was just the start of our talks. She may not have a bunch of questions for me tonight but she can ask me questions any time about this. I will need to work up the script for the boys talk. I was given a slight glimpse of this a few days ago.
We went to Lost Pines in Bastrop this week for Spring Break. The weather wasn’t that great but it we still had fun. The girl said some boy was talking to her in the lazy river. She told us at dinner. After the story was over she said “it’s obvious he liked me.” I had to tell her that just because a boy pays you some attention, it doesn’t mean he “likes” you. It can, but mostly it doesn’t. I saw her face drop for a second, then a light bulb came on in her head as if maybe her mommy was making sense. TA didn’t like this story. He wanted to know what he looked like so he could eyeball him. HA!
I am just glad that the talk went so well. She asked me a lot of questions. Mostly logistical questions. It wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be in my head. My talk lasted a long time and came with a very weird brochure. HA! My mom is a nurse. The big questions from her was how to track your period so you don’t get surprised at school. I will have the sex talk later. I am sure most people won’t agree with my approach. That’s ok. I know my kid. She will handle this better in chapters.
Sunday, March 15, 2015
Saturday Workout
We are not really doing anything for Spring Break until the middle of the week. We sent the kids to the Y for Kids’ Night In. I decided I wanted to do a heavy weight workout their first hour in there.
I am FEELING it today. Since I had that “incident” with my knee, my goal has been to strengthen my glutes and hamstrings. I can tell where my weaknesses are now after that workout. I did a heavy back workout (heavy for me) and I am feeling it today! I am sore all over. I love that! I am hardly ever sore after a workout anymore. I did some extra stuff and was just about to finish with 5 minutes of core when TA told me, “They close in 15 minutes.” UGH! I still had to shower because we were going to dinner at Jonathan’s The Rub.
I hate showering at the Y. HATE. I always forget something. This time, I forgot shower shoes. Gross, I know. This is going to sound so rude but I would like SOME privacy while I shower. There are always these older women in the shower when I want to go in there and they are letting it all hang out! I am just not there yet. They just glare at me. I don’t look at them but I can FEEL them looking at me. DON’T LOOK AT ME! Maybe one day I will be showering at the Y and there will be a younger and fitter woman trying to take a shower and I will glare at her too. MAYBE! I am sure I will have to shower many more times at my YMCA but it will never be my preference...unless I can shower in the kids’ locker room...but I am not a creep!
Again, I digress...
My back workout started with heavy bar hand cleans in to a half squat. Three sets of 10. After each set, I would do 10 deadlifts. Those hurt. I wasn’t wearing gloves so when the bar got heavy, I felt like it was going to fall out of my hands. In between sets, I did 15 push-ups and 1 minute hover. That was only 1 super set.
I got to use my wireless Beats by Dre earphones again. I cannot stress how much I love those things. I can easily do burpees with them on and they never fall off. I did a total of 30 burpees (did them in between the leg press sets) with no issues.
That was MY TIME. I finally got an hour of my time in a workout. When I teach, while I LOVE it, it isn’t my time. It is my class’s time. I don’t get to zone out and focus on pushing myself during class. I get to do that when I workout alone. I love it. TA was watching me workout and afterwards he told me, “You were getting after it!” I love that he said that. He is the KING of difficult weight workouts so to hear him give me a compliment like that made my day.
We had a great dinner with no cell phones out. He forgot his which made my day. :)
I wish the sun would stay out! I am sick of this rain and cloudiness. Hopefully, the weather will cooperate when we go to Lost Pines.
I am FEELING it today. Since I had that “incident” with my knee, my goal has been to strengthen my glutes and hamstrings. I can tell where my weaknesses are now after that workout. I did a heavy back workout (heavy for me) and I am feeling it today! I am sore all over. I love that! I am hardly ever sore after a workout anymore. I did some extra stuff and was just about to finish with 5 minutes of core when TA told me, “They close in 15 minutes.” UGH! I still had to shower because we were going to dinner at Jonathan’s The Rub.
I hate showering at the Y. HATE. I always forget something. This time, I forgot shower shoes. Gross, I know. This is going to sound so rude but I would like SOME privacy while I shower. There are always these older women in the shower when I want to go in there and they are letting it all hang out! I am just not there yet. They just glare at me. I don’t look at them but I can FEEL them looking at me. DON’T LOOK AT ME! Maybe one day I will be showering at the Y and there will be a younger and fitter woman trying to take a shower and I will glare at her too. MAYBE! I am sure I will have to shower many more times at my YMCA but it will never be my preference...unless I can shower in the kids’ locker room...but I am not a creep!
Again, I digress...
My back workout started with heavy bar hand cleans in to a half squat. Three sets of 10. After each set, I would do 10 deadlifts. Those hurt. I wasn’t wearing gloves so when the bar got heavy, I felt like it was going to fall out of my hands. In between sets, I did 15 push-ups and 1 minute hover. That was only 1 super set.
I got to use my wireless Beats by Dre earphones again. I cannot stress how much I love those things. I can easily do burpees with them on and they never fall off. I did a total of 30 burpees (did them in between the leg press sets) with no issues.
That was MY TIME. I finally got an hour of my time in a workout. When I teach, while I LOVE it, it isn’t my time. It is my class’s time. I don’t get to zone out and focus on pushing myself during class. I get to do that when I workout alone. I love it. TA was watching me workout and afterwards he told me, “You were getting after it!” I love that he said that. He is the KING of difficult weight workouts so to hear him give me a compliment like that made my day.
We had a great dinner with no cell phones out. He forgot his which made my day. :)
I wish the sun would stay out! I am sick of this rain and cloudiness. Hopefully, the weather will cooperate when we go to Lost Pines.
Balance
I was out of town last week at a conference so I am behind. I am behind on everything.
My house is a mess, at least I think so. It just feels cluttered. It is not a HUGE mess.
My kids need help in school and I have been on autopilot for a while. They were doing so well so I just let it go. They did too! HA! I feel like I took my eye off the ball for a second and now they are dropping the ball.
I feel behind at work too. While I like having these conferences, esp SSTB, I hate that I get behind. I suddenly feel the stress building up in my shoulders and it goes all the way to my heels.
At the time I started this post, I needed help with balance. I am ok today. I am caught up at work and home. I feel better. What helped me was getting my thoughts organized by putting pen to paper. I made a list each day at work of things I needed to accomplish that day. I didn’t go crazy. Just chipped away day by day. It worked. By Friday, I was jumping ahead to other things and planning for stuff way in the future.
At home, all I had to do was talk to my partner, TA, and we made a game plan for the kids that week. I also decided I would increase their chores by 1 each, just to make sure they remain focused through the end of the year. Last week was not bad. They picked up their pace and finished the week stronger than they started.
I guess the main idea here is to get organized, ask for help, and find an outlet. I did all those three things and my shoulders feel fine. HAHA!
My house is a mess, at least I think so. It just feels cluttered. It is not a HUGE mess.
My kids need help in school and I have been on autopilot for a while. They were doing so well so I just let it go. They did too! HA! I feel like I took my eye off the ball for a second and now they are dropping the ball.
I feel behind at work too. While I like having these conferences, esp SSTB, I hate that I get behind. I suddenly feel the stress building up in my shoulders and it goes all the way to my heels.
At the time I started this post, I needed help with balance. I am ok today. I am caught up at work and home. I feel better. What helped me was getting my thoughts organized by putting pen to paper. I made a list each day at work of things I needed to accomplish that day. I didn’t go crazy. Just chipped away day by day. It worked. By Friday, I was jumping ahead to other things and planning for stuff way in the future.
At home, all I had to do was talk to my partner, TA, and we made a game plan for the kids that week. I also decided I would increase their chores by 1 each, just to make sure they remain focused through the end of the year. Last week was not bad. They picked up their pace and finished the week stronger than they started.
I guess the main idea here is to get organized, ask for help, and find an outlet. I did all those three things and my shoulders feel fine. HAHA!
Monday, March 2, 2015
Venting
My post yesterday was therapeutic. I went to bed feeling better and today I have a clear head about my "stress".
This is all self-imposed stress. I need to quit. I have stress at work. Trying to cut a budget to save jobs is stress. Going to a conference and worrying about my knee is not really stressful. It is annoying but is it really stress? Stress is worrying about how to feed your kids. Stress is wondering how you are going to pay the light bill. We all have our own levels of stress but I feel like an ass for complaining about the things I complained about last night.
Truth is, I have a very blessed life. I was looking at a picture that someone posted of my daughter last Friday at school during Go Texan day. She looked super cute. Cutest girl in the school that day. That picture hit me like a ton of bricks though. She looked so grown up. I hated that feeling of her being an adult and not being in our house every day. I love that girl. She is the most amazing person I know. Why am I always stressed? I have a great life. I have set it up to be busy and now I am complaining? UGH! I gave myself a reality check last night and let all that crap go. I will get through the week and do all the things I have to get done with a smile on my face and with some grace.
There is a friend of mine that is constantly complaining on her FB about the every day life of raising an 18 month old daughter with her husband while trying to have a career. Her complaints irritate me. She hates being criticized but is the first to criticize other moms. I could go on and on about her but I won't. I mention her because she is a constant reminder to me to be grateful for my beautiful, healthy family. No need to complain about homework, schedules, and lack of sleep. I have it easy compared to others. This is my attempt to be a little more relaxed.
I was stressed all weekend and why? Nothing I was doing really was life or death. Why do I stress so much about the kids being tardy to school? So what? Who really cares. It is not like it goes on their record as a negative. I'm in traffic gripping the steering wheel trying to get there as early as possible. Time for me to focus my attention on the thing that really matter and not whether or not my son has the proper belt on for school that day.
I don't know how I am going to do this but I am going to try to start releasing some of this "stress". It's not stress. It is just a semi-full schedule. Nothing we can't handle. I am going to stop using the phrase "super busy" and "crazy busy" and see if that helps. I am sure this won't be the last post I make about how off I was previously but I am working on it. I am a work in progress. My husband wanted this blog to be cathartic for me. So far, so good. Thanks babe!
This is all self-imposed stress. I need to quit. I have stress at work. Trying to cut a budget to save jobs is stress. Going to a conference and worrying about my knee is not really stressful. It is annoying but is it really stress? Stress is worrying about how to feed your kids. Stress is wondering how you are going to pay the light bill. We all have our own levels of stress but I feel like an ass for complaining about the things I complained about last night.
Truth is, I have a very blessed life. I was looking at a picture that someone posted of my daughter last Friday at school during Go Texan day. She looked super cute. Cutest girl in the school that day. That picture hit me like a ton of bricks though. She looked so grown up. I hated that feeling of her being an adult and not being in our house every day. I love that girl. She is the most amazing person I know. Why am I always stressed? I have a great life. I have set it up to be busy and now I am complaining? UGH! I gave myself a reality check last night and let all that crap go. I will get through the week and do all the things I have to get done with a smile on my face and with some grace.
There is a friend of mine that is constantly complaining on her FB about the every day life of raising an 18 month old daughter with her husband while trying to have a career. Her complaints irritate me. She hates being criticized but is the first to criticize other moms. I could go on and on about her but I won't. I mention her because she is a constant reminder to me to be grateful for my beautiful, healthy family. No need to complain about homework, schedules, and lack of sleep. I have it easy compared to others. This is my attempt to be a little more relaxed.
I was stressed all weekend and why? Nothing I was doing really was life or death. Why do I stress so much about the kids being tardy to school? So what? Who really cares. It is not like it goes on their record as a negative. I'm in traffic gripping the steering wheel trying to get there as early as possible. Time for me to focus my attention on the thing that really matter and not whether or not my son has the proper belt on for school that day.
I don't know how I am going to do this but I am going to try to start releasing some of this "stress". It's not stress. It is just a semi-full schedule. Nothing we can't handle. I am going to stop using the phrase "super busy" and "crazy busy" and see if that helps. I am sure this won't be the last post I make about how off I was previously but I am working on it. I am a work in progress. My husband wanted this blog to be cathartic for me. So far, so good. Thanks babe!
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Stress
My first stress post. I can predict there will be more. I will number them once I get going, but, for now, I will just call this one “Stress”. Maybe I should number them so I can see how much I whine. I hate whining.
Crazy week. Everyone says that about their weeks but my head is still spinning. I took the lead on budget cuts for our department and helping my boss meet his budget goal for the year. 20% cut. Ouch! This would not be bad if I had been involved in the budget the entire year and known where the numbers came from. I don’t. I am doing a deep dive in to each category I was asked to evaluate and I have 1.5 days to do it before I leave town for a conference.
Tuesday through Thursday I will be in NOLA for a conference. This only stresses me because of my exercise program. The stress has doubled because I ran a 5k this weekend. I have not run in 8 years. I knew I was in good enough cardio and physical shape to finish and finish strong. My company put together a team of almost 30 people to run either a 10k or a 5k.
I did it. I finished strong. I went WAY faster on the last mile than the other two. My goal was to pass 20 people. I passed way more than 20. One day later, I remember why I don’t run. My knee is KILLING ME. I have had trouble with my Iliotibial Band (IT band) for the last 8 years. I first noticed it after a 4 mile run 8 years ago. It has been trouble ever since. It has never hurt this bad in 8 years like it does today. It hurts to walk down the stairs. So frustrating. I have been to numerous doctors and spent so much money on trying to get this fixed just to have it ruined in 30 minutes. I am scheduled to teach Bodypump tomorrow and I am trying to figure out WTF I am going to do. Still haven’t found a sub for my Wednesday class. I will probably have to stand in front of the class on Monday with little to no weight on the bar for squats and lunges or get a sub. I hate this. I am also worried about the conference. How am I supposed to walk around for 2.5 days with pain like this. Just typing this, I know it must sound trivial to whomever is reading this but I am so upset. We all have setbacks but I am tired to this one. I just want to be able to bend my knees to pick up something without worrying if I will injure myself while I get up. This is stressing me because I want to exercise while I am in NOLA. I don’t know how I will do this. I typically work from early in the morning until very late at night at these things.
Crazy week. Everyone says that about their weeks but my head is still spinning. I took the lead on budget cuts for our department and helping my boss meet his budget goal for the year. 20% cut. Ouch! This would not be bad if I had been involved in the budget the entire year and known where the numbers came from. I don’t. I am doing a deep dive in to each category I was asked to evaluate and I have 1.5 days to do it before I leave town for a conference.
Tuesday through Thursday I will be in NOLA for a conference. This only stresses me because of my exercise program. The stress has doubled because I ran a 5k this weekend. I have not run in 8 years. I knew I was in good enough cardio and physical shape to finish and finish strong. My company put together a team of almost 30 people to run either a 10k or a 5k.
 |
| Half of our run club team |
 |
| Stacy and I pre-race |
I did it. I finished strong. I went WAY faster on the last mile than the other two. My goal was to pass 20 people. I passed way more than 20. One day later, I remember why I don’t run. My knee is KILLING ME. I have had trouble with my Iliotibial Band (IT band) for the last 8 years. I first noticed it after a 4 mile run 8 years ago. It has been trouble ever since. It has never hurt this bad in 8 years like it does today. It hurts to walk down the stairs. So frustrating. I have been to numerous doctors and spent so much money on trying to get this fixed just to have it ruined in 30 minutes. I am scheduled to teach Bodypump tomorrow and I am trying to figure out WTF I am going to do. Still haven’t found a sub for my Wednesday class. I will probably have to stand in front of the class on Monday with little to no weight on the bar for squats and lunges or get a sub. I hate this. I am also worried about the conference. How am I supposed to walk around for 2.5 days with pain like this. Just typing this, I know it must sound trivial to whomever is reading this but I am so upset. We all have setbacks but I am tired to this one. I just want to be able to bend my knees to pick up something without worrying if I will injure myself while I get up. This is stressing me because I want to exercise while I am in NOLA. I don’t know how I will do this. I typically work from early in the morning until very late at night at these things.
The budget. It is hanging over me like a dark
cloud. Cut or cut more heads. I don’t want that. I received pretty good news on
it on Friday about our progress but I still want to get it completed so I can
move on with my normal job. Our performance evaluations are due tomorrow as
well. I hate those things. I spend so much time writing them and then they
become meaningless.
My kids are taking their standardized tests this
week. Good week for them to do this because I will be out of town. They
won’t have much homework. But now I am stressed about their eating and if they
will get enough sleep while I am away. I stress about my husband’s stress
level while I am away.
This is one of those time where I know I need a few
days off. Typically, I would handle this stress by exercising but now that
option is limited. I need a release. Maybe I will meditate. I don’t think that
will work but I can give it a try.
Work
My health
Conference
My kids
My husband
My other job
=
Stress (right now)
Any suggestions that don’t cause me to empty all the liquor in the house
are greatly appreciated. :)
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