Hanging up my mic - Connecting my heart and head

I have been considering taking a break from teaching at the YMCA for a while.  I have been debating this in my head for quite some time.

PROS -
I love my members
When I am up there, I love teaching.
I love motivating people.
I love when people come up to me after class and say this was a tough workout or that they are progressing to new levels.
It is a community. It is social. I started as a member and now I have a group of people I enjoy seeing all the time.


CONS
Time - My time is being stretched way too thin.
Kids - their schedule is killing us. With Alexis excelling at 2 sports and Joaquin also wanting to play 2 sports, we are constantly on the go.
Prep for class - It takes a while and I don't put the effort in to it that I should, which is a disservice to my class.
My fitness...

My fitness is suffering. I have no time for my personal fitness and it is starting to depress me. I am not in the physical shape that I want to be in and the more the time passes and slips away from me, the more I get depressed. It is hard to be in front of a class and not be in model shape. It is not good and I think I do my members a disservice. This is important to me and I have goals. When I don't reach my goals, I get upset and I am not too pleasant.

Two weeks ago I went in to the Wellness Center Manager's office and told her after July 11th, I would come off the schedule. I am going to be around to sub for classes here and there but I could not commit to a regular schedule. My manager was sad. I was too. She wants to revisit in 6 months but I think I know the answer. I won't be coming back. I have stayed late at work this week and extra hour at work has made some significant progress for me in several situations.

I am going to miss it. I already do. But I don't miss it enough to go back. This was about connecting my head and my heart. That took a while. My head knew the right decision. My heart was nostalgic and staying for old reasons. As my family and career changes, I have to adjust priorities. This is on a small scale but it is also about finding joy. I had to ask myself that tough questions...am I still finding JOY in teaching? There used to be a lot of joy. The joy has faded. It is a distraction to other things that are more important.

JOY. One of my mentors brought that up to me and I knew that answer right away. I know I made the right decisions. My members are sad and disappointed but I am still around via social media and as a member to give them the motivation they need. The last 10 days have been really good for me. I am so much more focused and happy. I have been able to do 2 HIIT workouts for myself this week and I feel great. That is a tough one. I forgot about my happiness. I do that a lot. What I didn't realize is that the lack of JOY in my life was flowing in to other areas. It was spreading like a virus. Ten days and I can already tell the difference.

Find the JOY in what you do.

Extra Curricular Activities

I know the title of this post seems like I am talking about cheating, but I am not. I am talking about my kids and all the stuff they do outside of school.

I love that they are so active. I would not have it any other way. But it is killing me! I am stressed all the time about getting them to practice on time, especially my daughter.

I really hope, from her perspective, it does not seem like I am trying to live through her. I am not. I did all of this. I STILL do extra stuff outside of just work and family. The schedule is wearing me out a little. I am glad school basketball is over but now starts extra basketball to go along with club volleyball. In an effort to give her opportunities, I am pushing her and putting pressure on her. I have to. I see that in other successful people. She will regret it one day if I don't push her...if WE don't push her.

It has been a couple of days since I started this post and I am feeling better. Not stressed. This goes in waves. I am headed out of town today. I will miss her practice and training Thursday. My son had flag football practice and he did so well that they made him captain for his game. He loves it. I think she loves it too. She is having fun, which is the most important thing.

I need to keep telling myself they are young and having fun. The most important thing is that they are both getting better as time goes and working hard. Sometimes I get wrapped up in the attitudes of the other parents and I don't want that.

Speaking of parents, there are some shady parents at my kids' school. TA and I have decided to go around some of these people and do what's best for our kids. If that means we move schools, so be it. At the end of the day, I want them to value hard work, no matter what they do.

Sundays have the best shows

Are you watching The Affair ? If not, I highly suggest it. One of the brilliant things about this show is how it is told from the main character's perspective. Sometimes it is the same exact time frame but the take on it is completely different. Great show.

Homeland didn't disappoint either. Still gets my heart rate up. I am still hanging on to this show and my hope for Carrie Mathieson.

The show that is surprising me the most is The Leftovers. I love that show too. Watch it!

These are the shows that take up most of my time until GoT and Veep come back.

Any other shows I should be watching? Let me know in the comments section.

City Champs

In the midst of all the craziness this fall, I didn't get to talk about Biggs and her school volleyball team. They won the city championship in their division! This was a huge deal because the school team won last year with an entire team of eighth graders. This team started four sixth graders. They played so well and minimized mistakes. Great season!! My kid played great. So proud of her.

Congrats Biggs!

7 serves in a row in final game

Romo is BACK

I aint gonna lie, 7 in a row HURTS! I was kind of done watching football after 7 in a row on Sundays and the three ugly losses on Saturdays. It is depressing. I was always so hype for the weekends. Boo!

Please, sweet baby Jesus, give your team a win this weekend. We need something to smile about.

GO COWBOYS!

It happened

I know. I have been gone for a while. Not that you all noticed. :)

Before I begin to explain my absence, I have to talk about my baby girl. Remember THIS post? Well, I got a call from the school nurse Monday at about 10:30 am. Nurse said my baby girls was in her office with menstrual cramps. Impossible, I told her. She has not started her period. Nurse put Biggs on the phone. She says she THINKS she started. UGH! No one there could give her any meds for her cramps (against school policy). She had to suffer all day with on and off cramps. Poor thing. She asked the nurse for some "supplies" and I said we would discuss when she we got home. This was a Monday, which is usually a very busy day at work AND I teach Bodypump on Monday nights.

I tried to leave work. No dice. My schedule has been insane at work. I work every night after I get home and do whatever it is I need to do that night. Biggs took the whole thing in stride. I asked her if she was prepared at school. She said she wrapped toilet paper and put it in her underwear (told her to do that). Asked her if she was ok or worried. She wasn't. This was a well covered subject between us. We have talked about this for a while.

I sent a text to TA and my mom. TA asked if there was anything he needed to do when he picked her up. I told him he didn't need to do anything and that I would take her to the store to get supplies after I got home. My mom was worried for some reason. She wanted someone to go to the school to check her. HA! No!! I am not driving to the school to embarrass her even more. And check what?? No one checked me and I was fine. I got my first period in 7th grade. I was a latchkey kid. I had been since I was in third grade. I called my mom at work to tell her I thought I started my period and she laughed. Well, first she screamed "WHAT?!", and then she laughed. I became so embarrassed and unwilling to talk to her about this AT ALL. Not a good way to instill trust.

When I got home, I talked to Alexis. I told her I didn't know what to say, congrats or I'm sorry. I told her this was a big step in her development and that I would always be there to help her with whatever she needs. We went shopping. While we were shopping, she spilled her guts to me. About everything! Any slight piece of drama happening at the school, I heard about it. Anyone giving her shit, I heard about it. I heard her opinions on everyone. It was so great! I loved it. I don't know when I will get that chance again, but I can't wait. I am SO GLAD she trusts me enough to tell me all this stuff. She even called me yesterday to tell me that her crush called her. She talks about him to me a lot. I worry, all the time, that I will do something to something to break this trust unintentionally. The best I can do is just keep being honest with her and constantly showing her she can trust me.

So maybe this was a good thing. A great thing. Hopefully during the next milestones of her life, she will share them with me. Her first kiss. First love. All of it. She is growing up so fast. I hate it. But I love the young lady she is becoming.

Maui

Torrey and I were able to take the family to Hawaii today, including my mom and dad. It was a great thing for us to be able to do for my parents. On the trip, they kept saying they thought traveling to Hawaii would be a dream they would never get to do. That made me so happy. They are there for Torrey and I all the time. Anytime we needed some help early in our marriage, they were there to help us.

We have travelled with my parents before and each time, there is something unusual that happens. This time was no exception. We were in the ER Friday before we left. J broke his arm. Luckily, the ER had waterproof splints. It worked out very well. Three days in to the trip, he caught a fever and a cold. He was a trooper though.

On the balcony of our resort as soon as we checked in

We had to cancel our zip lining tour. No way J could hang on with a broke arm. He hurt it twice while we were there. Once he slipped at the resort and tried to catch himself. The other was jumping off the side of the boat we were on while we were snorkeling. His orthopedic doc asked us NOT to let him swim any more. OOPS! He did all the activities we planned during the day but by the end of the day, he just wanted to rest. I missed the luau but that's ok. That's what moms do. Happy to do that for my boy and everyone else.

Checking in to the beautiful resort with mom and dad

Three generations in Maui

The guys hangin loose

On a mission to give mommy a heart attack

I had more pictures but I am having trouble downloading them now.

All in all, great trip. Thanks to my travel agent for recommending this place, considering the size of our group and age difference. There is no other place I would have stayed. Thanks to Yvette for the setting it all up for us. If you want to travel and don't know where to stay or get the best, let me know. I will put you in touch with her. She is great.

I worked a little while I was there. I wanted to. I am really enjoying my job now. 

Wonderful trip. THE BEST SPA EVER! I came back with no knots in my neck. Great to give this gift to my parents and memories for my kids. The first few days were a tough time adjustment but all worth it.

We came back just in time to watch Sharknado 3!!!