More change

I am getting a new boss. This is the forth time I say this in two years. My boss is getting promoted. YAY for him. It is bitter sweet for me. While I like the idea of having a supporter so high up the chain, I am sad that the supporter won't be my direct supervisor. Probably pretty selfish of me to think that. I am sure that I will gain another supporter in my new boss. It seems like the organization is bringing people in from the outside and merging them with the best of what we had and making the team look a lot better. At least that is how it looks from my perspective. There is lots of opportunity now during my industry downturn to change things and make it look "better". I say better because that is in the eyes of the new leaders. I wasn't ready for this change but I saw it coming miles away.  Lots of change.

I am also kicking myself for not standing up for what I think in a meeting yesterday. Of all the sales directors, I am the least experienced. I think that is why I clammed up. We were all stating opinions. I should have stressed mine bigger and now I am sick because I didn't. UGH! I can't do this any more. I need to open my mouth with my well thought out ideas and opinions. I will never learn or grow if I don't.

I am actually rooting for the Rockets. My normal NBA team is the Spurs. I still root for them too. It is kind of nice for the whole family to root for the same sports team. It is unusual. Won't happen again. Football season is house divided almost every weekend. Tonight is game 5 of the Rockets v Mavs.  We are missing all our free throws. Another thing that is irritating me is people want to change the rules for fouls away from the basket. NO! These are professionals. They need to practice their free throws MORE than dunks. Period. (I can hear my son downstairs watching the game. Jones just hit a clutch 3. My son is yelling "Yes! Spank their booty!" What?)

I am trying to get back to better eating habits. I have been eating like a teenager lately and it needs to stop. I can feel my body rejecting all of this and I just flat out don't feel good. I felt much better when I was eating better. Enough is enough. No more excuses. For example, I am DYING for a Dr Pepper right now. I shall drink this water instead.

I got a MacBook Air this weekend! Good change! This is my first post from my new laptop. I love it. I may never use my iPad again.

Something else is going on inside and I can't figure out what it is. I have not been my super cheerful self lately. People are starting to notice it and I can't put my finger on what it is. I wish I could so I could correct it. I think it is a lot of things. I hope I have an answer soon. It comes and goes. Monday night before I taught my class, one of the members asked me what was wrong. I wanted to tell her but I didn't even know! I always know. Even when it is selfish and ugly, I know what is bugging me. Right now, I don't know. Maybe it is the slow and steady climb of changes that have happened in 2015. I wish I knew. I am on a quest to find out. Wish me luck!

Change

My company is going through some changes. These are good, I think. But some people are not reacting well. I have to admit, I am very nervous. I want to help lead this change but I have so many questions. There are some very valuable people that are getting caught in the crossfire or putting themselves in the crossfire. It's strange. While I want to be supportive and move forward, I hate that these changes will lead to some big losses. I am sure most companies go through this and I try not to get too personal but it does affect me. I am passionate about my career and the things I care about. I don't want to lose any good people because I want to DOMITATE. I have only been at this company for four years but I want to win and I want to do what I have to do to win. I think about it a lot. These are the moments when I am silent. You can tell I am thinking or something is up when I am quiet.

Schedule changed at my gym. I didn't agree with it but I will roll with it if it is what the team thinks is best. My Tuesday class at work is going away. I actually gave that one up. If I want to focus on my career, I have to start giving up some things. One of them might be my classes at work. That's ok. I don't have to be in charge of everything! I have to let some little things go so that I can focus on the other areas of my life. I will miss it but I still have Thursdays.

My kids. They are growing fast. It is never more evident than when my parents are in town. My daughter is now taller than my mom and my son is not far away. She was in a play this weekend. She looked so grown up and like a star on the little stage. It was surreal. I didn't get to watch the whole thing because I was manning the concession stand. :) My son is something else. He is finally maturing..slowly...but it is happening.

All this change has my head spinning. It is time to get myself organized and focused. When I feel like I am in a cloud, I know this is what I need to do. It is scary...sort of. I need to widen my line of sight and listen. LISTEN. I am constantly learning from everyone around me. It is like the more I learn, the dumber I feel. HAHA! I can't let that hold me down. It hits me for a second but then I am back. Lots of changes. Lots of challenges. Time for leaders to step up and I am a leader. As a leader, I need to get back in the game and get out of this cloud. This cloud will kill me.